She reached for the bottle of pills. She was calm, but shaky. They were a green blue capsule, somewhat beautious, surrealistic.
It was with awe that I imagined the power held within each gel cap, and even more when the contents of each of the 90 pills were stirred into a glass of juice and drunk quickly. Very quickly.
A ritual was in order before she began, but somehow in all the excitement and planning we had forgotten to prepare the precious detail. Years of ritual leadership and participation came in handy at that moment.
We called in the guides, those living and those dead, who would watch over the process from beginning to end, circling everyone in the room with protection and comfort, especially to be prepared for the unexpected.
Someone said, “we must set an intention”
“may it go smoothly”
Someone else said, “what about… “Let there be resolution and no fear.”
Someone responded, “Not yet right, fear is quite normal.”
“Let there be resolution. For all.”
That was it.
“Let there be resolution for all.”
After she drank the brew, she laid down in her cozy bed and dreamed.
Of courage, lifetimes, and the rhythm of the sea.
A ritual ending was needed. So many times there had been melodies, songs, or candles with our rituals.
Today it was a ritual of silence. Of listening.
Joining with each breath as she let go of this most precious life.
Until all we heard was our own.
*The End of life Options Act went into law June 9, 2016. As someone working in Palliative Care, it is a common topic of conversation and study. I hope that this law serves people and families with love.