Rabbi Chaya Gusfield

Rabbi Chaya Gusfield, Jewish Renewal, rabbi, spiritual director, chaplain

Writings on Suicide


Filed Under: Healing, Writings on Suicide
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Let the Sun Shine

For many years I have worked to reduce the stigma against people with mental illnesses by speaking openly about my sister’s mental illness and her resulting death when she was 21. I refer to her illness as a terminal disease. I have fought to try and eliminate the shame that surrounds families of those who have died at their own hand, in the Jewish world and in the larger world. Speaking honestly and openly about mental illness and issues of suicide prevention has been liberating to those struggling and their families.

Today I am mute. My heart breaks as another person close to me, once again, has tried to die as a result of her mental illness. She has survived many attempts. We hold our breath.

Even though I may feel there is no shame, and only heartbreak, the stigma is still with us.  Her identity and story is not my information to share.  I feel I must remain publicly vague.

I care, I love, I act, I respond. Alone. In whispers and shrouded texts with a small group of family and friends.

Please join me in whatever it takes to reduce the stigma of mental illness so that those who suffer, and their families, no longer need to whisper.

May all those whose lives are unraveling due to mental illness, or the mental illness of a loved one, find comfort, strength, and their voice. May we all be able to grieve and grow in full view of the sun’s healing rays.


Filed Under: Prayer, Torah/Life Writings, Writings on Suicide
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*Asher Yatzar: The One who Formed us in Wisdom-Prayer to those who Ended Their Lives

It is so powerful to praise the wisdom of our bodies, the intricacies of our organs, our veins containing our blood, our intestines moving our bowels. How each one has its own special purpose, helping us to stay alive, to be alive, to embrace life.

It’s wondrous to understand the power that even one small part of our body has over our entire life. If one opened when it needed to stay closed, or one stay closed when it needed to open, we could not stand before You.

We could not breathe, or love, or protest, or grieve, or walk in the heat of the day, or in the wind of the beach. We could not eat, or sing or pray. We couldn’t even complain.

 

Let us not forget our sisters and brothers whose bodies are fully intact.  Their veins move their blood beautifully and they move their bowels like there is no tomorrow, but, they cannot find their way to life. They cannot stay alive. They cannot connect, love others or themselves. They cannot eat or they eat more than their body can hold. They cannot feel or they feel so much they want to die.

Let us not forget our sisters and brothers who will never stand before You again because in one moment they chose to die.

We ask the Source of all Mystery, the Healer of Flesh, the Performer of all Wonders to watch over them in life and in death.

*Written after a fundraising walk to prevent suicide, surrounded by the grief of families who are survivors of a loved one who ended their life and by those struggling to stay alive.