She was celebrating in a room filled with hope, pride, Shabbes, and connection. Flowers, hearts, and song dancing with the smells of delicious food, Torah, laughter, and tears. There was truth shared over bagels, about pain, dreams, visions, how to cope with disappointment, regret. And joys spilled forth over lox and capers. Whispers of family. The salad was delish. The sun was hot, very hot. She had forgotten her hat and sunglasses. Someone shared the frosting of her cupcake. Another shared her memories of Italian gelato as if she were sharing a deep secret no one else could ever have known.
When he asked her, “All is well with you?” the air was surprised to hear, “No, I am feeling some despair” and the tears began to flow. Despair had made an appearance. Not willing to be ignored in the colors of the day. Received with care as if it was normal to show up at a moment like this.
A pensive walk home, a nap, a drive, ice cream for dinner, and a sunset. Despair had made her appearance. Received with care, and life continued. The next day there was a long walk to the beach, a bialy, another nap, and fabulous fried rice with homemade brownies. Despair had made an appearance, and life continued as life does.