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Rabbi Chaya Gusfield

Rabbi Chaya Gusfield, Jewish Renewal, rabbi, spiritual director, chaplain

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July 16, 2020
Filed Under: Grief Writings, Healing, Writings on Suicide
2 Comments

50 years later- two takes

I

Since you died nothing has changed

1.People who struggle with their demons still do.

2.There still is no good treatment for many mental health conditions.

3. There still is regret for how you died.

4. There still is anger at the way some people just can’t be saved.

5. I still look at your last drawing-human shadows dancing.

II

Since you died nothing has changed.

People who struggle with their demons, still do.

There still is no balm for them. No doctor, no therapist, no hospital for the ones who stay up all night boxing.  There is no hope for many.

There is still anguish for your life and for your death.

Lamentations become the air we breathe. The anger rises up, squeezes forth.

Some people just can’t be saved, no matter the courage.

Still, some will die like you. Alone in a hotel room, found by a stranger.

Hanging on the wall is the last drawing you made-blue faceless human beings dancing in shadows

50 years, nothing has changed.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Julie Nesnansky says

    July 16, 2020 at 12:55 pm

    I’m so sorry that you have to live with this pain.

    Reply
  2. Lori Klein says

    July 19, 2020 at 10:20 am

    Dear Chaya –

    This is sad and poignant and sobering and so true!

    Love

    Lori

    Reply

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